A few weeks ago I was listening to this interview on Q on CBC radio. I stole the title of this blog post from the interview title as it resonated so strongly with me. Stuart Murdoch was being interviewed abut his music group – Belle and Sebastian’s new album and his life journey. The part that stuck me was the discussion about his struggle with ME – or chronic fatigue and how it it influenced his music and his life. He talked about a new life creeping in. Being forced to stay home, stop working and slow his life down. He likened it to being a “pensioner” and planing your day around small things. Dealing with the bare bones of life and laughing about it while still being violently positive. Wow. Violently positive. Can’t say I’m there yet. But this forced slowness thing. That is me right now for sure. It works some days. In between the pain and the treatments. I take each day as it comes. I embrace the spring sun. I sit outside on the porch and drink my tea in the morning. I stretch, do my exercise and try and make it to the park regularly even if its just to lie on the grass and embrace the green around me. Today I baked my first bread from scratch. Its in the oven now so I won’t say its worked but it looks good so far. I have been trying to focus on eating well, whole foods, reading a good book and being satisfied with simple things. Short outings or trips to the store. Volunteering for some transplant events in my community. Drives to see my brother play music and conversations with friends over coffee. I do worry my world gets too small, and try to keep eyes and ears open to the world outside my slowness bubble. I discuss, watch news and catch up on documentaries about things happening. I know NDP won in Alberta – wow! I follow the refugee crisis in Syria and the shipwreck in the Mediterranean. I worry about the families of the victims in Nepal. I also follow and know my co-workers are still dealing with the daily toils of full time social work in Kitchener Waterloo and all that that entails, with recent work changes and stress I know that things can be difficult. But here in my world, at least for now, I try and embrace this forced slowness and let it teach me knew things.
This Blog..attempt at writing, chronicling life, health and my own journey at this moment. The perspective of a eclectic, world loving, social worker, nature lover, reader, foodie, a pet owner, wife, sister and yes, illness ridden woman.